Akatsuki SodaAnd Other Stories
by Plek
Summary: Tobi starts a line of sodas to bring in the cash. Itachi has a bad Starbucks habit. And Deidara's life sucks... All this and more! Please read! :
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi! Welcome to the random story spun by Plek, and Bre Henson!_

_We hope you enjoy it!_

_Disclaimer: We don't own Cocoa Cola, Naruto, Starbucks, or Mr. Artist._

_But, Bre does own the random fan girl…since it's her. Plek owns the coffee girl._

_Oh, and no offense to Starbucks costumers, it was just fun to make them scare Kisame. _

_Itachi walked into the Akatsuki's meeting room with a scowl; he wondered what all the fuss was about, and sighed. Looking around, he spotted Kisame, and went over to stand next to the shark-like man._

_"What's going on?" Itachi asked._

_"Well, it's AKATSUKI SODA!!!" Tobi screamed, shoving a soda bottle at Itachi._

_Kisame's eyes widened; he was slightly weirded out."What the crap?"_ Itachi thought. "What is Akatsuki Soda?" he asked, already regretting the action.

_"I signed a contract with the Cocoa Cola company; so we now have our own line of sodas!" Tobi said cheerfully. "The flavors are cola, vanilla, orange, grape, and electrical banana." _

_"May I try a vanilla one?" Kisame asked._

_"YES!" Tobi said cheerfully, and handed the shark man a bottle of the requested drink._

_Kisame took a thoughtful sip, and then he scowled in disgust, "This tastes just like that sucky Vanilla Coke crap!" he said angrily._

_"What do you think they do with all the Vanilla Coke nobody buys? They don't just get rid of it; they save it until they can sell it." Tobi said with a grin. "It was such a bargain, and it doubles as rat poison!"_

_Kisame turned pale, and wondered if he was going to die._

_"And it's one of the few things that can kill cockroaches!" Tobi cheered. "But anyway, Itachi, here. You try some."_

_"No." Itachi said._

_"It's grape…" Tobi said, trying to tempt the young man. "And I'll love you forever…"_

_Itachi stepped closer to Kisame; the shark man was like an older brother to him, "Save me." he whispered._

_"If I don't die first, sure." Kisame answered._

_"I'll give you a promotion!" Tobi added._

_"But Pein's the leader. Idiot." Sasori said._

_"Nobody asked you! Here have some orange AKATSUKI SODA!" Tobi shouted._

_Sasori took the drink, and sighed; he might as well try it. _

_Taking a sip, he said, "Well, it's not the best, but it's not the worst either."_

_Tobi frowned, "Are you kidding me? Akatsuki soda is genius!!" he cried._

_Itachi started to edge towards the door, no way was he drinking that stuff._

_As Itachi moved closer to the door, Tobi caught the motion, and said, "No leaving until your try some of this soda!"_

_Itachi sighed, "Fine. I'll take…grape." he said._

_"I knew you liked grape!" Tobi shouted, handing him a bottle of it._

_Itachi took a cautious sip, and gagged, "What is this?!" he demanded._

_"It's soda, Itachi. Goodness, and here I thought you were a genius." Tobi commented._

_Itachi scowled hatefully, "This is not soda. It's filth water." he accused._

_"Filth water?" Tobi asked, sniffing; he was holding back tears._

_"I need some Starbucks…" Itachi grumbled._

_"Yes, let's go." Kisame said, grabbing the young Uchiha, and running off towards Starbucks, as Tobi collapsed in tears. _

_When Itachi, and Kisame walked into Starbucks, Itachi began to grin like a fiend, and Kisame shuddered._

_"Itachi… Do you ever think that you may have a coffee problem?" the shark man asked._

_"No, why?" Itachi asked, confused._

_"Well… You drink quite a lot of coffee, and you're starting to depend on it." Kisame said seriously._

_Deidara saw the two coming, and suddenly decided to go on his break. He'd started working at Starbucks to escape Tobi._

_"No, I'm not." Itachi argued._

_Kisame sighed, "Fine. Whatever." he said._

_Itachi walked up to the counter, "Watch Kisame, I'm going to mix it up. Instead of hot coffee, I'm going to get a cold coffee." he said._

_Kisame rolled his eyes, "Oh yes, Itachi. Your genius, and daring never ceases to amaze." he said._

_Itachi smirked, "I know." he said slyly. _

_"Your order?" a coffee drone asked. _

_"I'd like one of those frozen mocha things," Itachi said._

_Kisame looked at the Starbucks employee; she was creepier than most._

_She had black hair, all black clothing, a vampire's complexion, and a voice like nails on a chalkboard remixed with goats. Plus, she had a positively sinister grin on her face._

_"Anything else?" she demanded, as if they were wasting her time with their existence._

_"You want anything, Kisame?" Itachi asked._

_"Uh, no, that's okay." Kisame answered, he was afraid that the coffee girl would poison him, or spit in his drink. "What if her spit is poison? Or acid? Acidic poison?!" the shark man thought._

_"That's all then." Itachi answered._

_"Okay, hee hee." the girl said, giggling evilly as she went off to make the order._

_Kisame looked around the coffee shop; ever costumer was a freak fest._

_There was a pale, blue-eyed, brown haired girl sitting in the corner as she furiously wrote in a notebook, and then she pulled out her cell, and- "Did she just take a picture of Itachi?" Kisame thought, frightened. "Fan girls are weird…"He looked at the other side of the room, and saw Orochimaru casually sipping a cup of coffee, and talking to Kabuto about who knows what. Kisame shivered, he didn't know who was creepier, Orochimaru, or that fan girl on the other side of the room. He saw Kabuto's eyes widen, and he followed the young ninja's gaze; he was looking a brown haired guy who was holding a sketchbook, and grinning excitedly._

_He saw Kabuto lean over to Orochimaru, and say something softly, reading his lips, he saw that he had said, "It's that artist again.""A fan girl, and a stalker artist? My goodness…"_ Kisame thought, hoping the Itachi's coffee was made quickly.

_Deidara glared angrily at the coffee girl, she had taken too long to make the coffee, and so he had to bring it to Itachi._

_"Here you go," he said quietly, and sighed._

_"Deidara? You work at Starbucks?" Itachi asked._

_"Yes…" Deidara answered, sighing._

_"This is great!!! You'll let me use your discount right? Right? Please?!" Itachi begged._

_"Okay, fine! Just take your coffee, and get out of my face!" Deidara shouted._

_"Thanks Deidei, I hate you less now!" Itachi said happily, taking his coffee, and walking off with Kisame._

_"Thank goodness, they're gone." Deidara said, once the two had walked out of the shop._

_"You can say that again." the coffee girl added._

_Itachi sipped his coffee happily, and sighed, "Ahhhh, soooooo gooood!" he said._

_Kisame frowned, he thought his young partner's coffee habit was out of control…_

_When the two returned to the headquarters, Itachi was happy from his caffeine high._

_But Tobi…was still in the floor crying._

_"Itachi! Why don't you love me?!" he demanded._

_Itachi just hummed happily, and walked off._

_"You should love your sensei!!!" Tobi cried._

_"He's not listening to you." Sasori commented in a bored tone._

_"I know that!!" Tobi sobbed._


	2. Chapter 2: Road Trip

**Chapter Two: Road Trip**

"That's it! We aren't selling enough soda, so we're all going on a road trip," Tobi said.

"Say what?" Deidara demanded. "Didn't you just start selling that swill yesterday?"

"That isn't of importance!" Tobi snapped.

Deidara just sighed, and Itachi went to go stock up on Starbucks frauppicinos.

Konan, and Pein walked in at that moment, "A road trip, hmm?" the red haired man asked.

"That's sounds cool," Konan added. _"If we don't all kill each other…"_ she thought.

Itachi walked in with a cooler full of Starbucks, and a small suitcase, "Well, I'm ready to go." he said, sounding bored.

Kisame sighed, and went off to go pack.

Sasori always had a suitcase packed, and he pulled it out of one of his many puppets, "I'm packed already." he said quietly.

Deidara stomped off angrily, threw some junk into a plastic bag, and came back, "There. I'm packed. Let's go." he snapped.

"Let's give everyone else a few minutes to get packed, Deidara," Tobi said. "It's what good boys do."

Deidara started to grind his teeth, "I'm going to get the van ready!" he snapped, storming off with his plastic bag full of junk.

Tobi had shown him the monstrosity last night, it was an old black van, with red clouds spray painted on the sides, inside it had driver's and passenger's seats, and then three rows of seats behind that; they were upholstered with black pleather. Deidara managed to crank the beast after ten minutes, then he crawled into the back, and started to scowl out the window. Slowly, the other members of the Akatsuki began to come in, and sit down. Tobi sat next to Deidara, who glared, and asked, "Aren't you driving?"

Tobi shook his head, "No, Kisame is going to do that, and give Itachi driving lessons, and tips," he said.

"Oh, I see," Deidara said, not really listening.

Kisame started backing up the van, "See how I shifted it into reverse?" he asked Itachi.

The Uchiha nodded, "Yes." he said simply.

"And how I just barely tapped the gas? BARELY! You hear?" Kisame instructed.

"Yes, just barely do it. Understood." Itachi said, sounding annoyed at getting yelled at.

"Good, and did you see how I checked my mirrors, and looked behind me, before I did ANYTHING?" Kisame asked.

"Yes!" Itachi answered. _"Our meeting place is in the middle of freaking nowhere though, why the heck did he even bother?" _he thinks.

"Okay," Kisame said. "We're pulled out far enough now that I can shift into driver. Watch CLOSELY."

"_Why did he even go in reverse? There's nothing here!" _Itachi thought furiously, but watched all the same.


End file.
